Just now my day was cloudy..
but now..the cloud has been removed by someone--Kent~~
Thx alot~
Mayb the jogging plays a role as well..
But, the fact is...my cloudy mood disappeared ald~~~~
This is what I really want!!
The normal Mary is back!
For those things that are happened ald,
just throw them away~
Don't keep them inside..
Today's mood...just like the weather outside..
raining..
normally, it's very easy to speak out the unhappy things to my frens..
but this time..I found that I dunno how to say..
The day is grey..
The day is cold..
The day is strange for me..
I feel like I'm just an outsider..
watching everything around me silently..
without any emotion fluctuation..
seems like all of them are irrelevant to me..
I'm just an outsider to the world..
Is there any place can fit me in?
Is there something/someone will notice me?
Am I....really that valueless??
confused....................................
I really need some confirmation..
some kind of encouragement..
some love from you..my friends..
That will me make me feel more energetic again..
And, what I need now..is the energy refill...
don't judge a book by its cover..
I always like this sayings..
but...it seems not exactly the truth to all ppl...
I miss my sun very much..
I hope that the sun shine will spread over my world soon...
There is really a thing between me and Twilight Saga..
I don't know why..I just can't be normal when dealing with it..
Today is a lovely day since I went to watch New Moon this afternoon with my housemates~
And, I have to say--"Finally I watched it already~~~~!!"
You just have no idea on how hard I've been waiting for it..
It's been months....with only Twilight (the 1st one) can satisfy my need...
*Phew*~~finally...makes me want to sing Fergie's "Finally"~hah~
Before the movie started, I was so excited!!
with no reason...
I think I really have been fallen in love with Twilight Saga badly...
But, God, pls allow me to do so and no need to save me..hehe..^^
Edward, still as handsome as before..
Bella, prettier than last episode..
Jacob, just can say "wow wow wow~"
When Edward left Bella, it made me really hurt..
Just like I can feel the pain myself..
The pain was being enlarged when Bella asked Edward that does he do not want her,
and Edward answered "NO"...
If I were Bella, I don't think that I can survive...
And when Edward told Bella that he has a requirement if
Bella wants Edward to change her himself,
"Marry me.."
I shouted loudly inside my mind that
"I do!!I do!!"
hah~~~~
My Edward.....
Frankly, the pace of this movie is too fast ald..
I just wish that I could spend my whole noon time to watch the movie..
Even spend my whole life watching it I also never mind~~
And, I'm really looking forward to its drama...*.*
Some people opt that this movie is not nice..
To me, it's not about nice or not nice..
It's become a need to watch it..
Like I need the air for my everyday life..
And, obviously I've been addicted to this "air"!!
Still as before..
I wish to watch it again...
not just once, but again, and again, and again...
until the day I've tired of it...
(but I don't think that day will come..hah~)
erm....mayb this sem break I'll re-read the Twilight Saga (book) one more time...
Anyone pls don't stop me...
And, for your info,
I watch this movie and addicted to it (book or movie),
it's not because of Robert Pattinson..
but it's because of Edward Cullen!!
His personality..his love to Bella...
everything about him makes me can't take my eyes off him..
Stephen Meyer is really good at knowing what girls need in a boyfriend..
Eclipse~~~
pls come faster~~~
haiz...still have one more year to wait for it....
>.<
So paiseh when taking this photos in front of so many ppl queuing up to buy tickets..
Going to keep this ticket!!!
Sth really funny seen this afternoon at the swimming suit department..This is Malay female swimming suit...really.....NICE...我妈的外婆，我的家婆太，在前天凌晨去世了……
享年一百有余……
今早在送她出殡时，我终于忍不住了……
如果妈咪在场，她也会很伤心……
以前妈咪时常说，是家婆太带大她的。
她和家婆太的感情，还好过自己的母亲……
所以，妈咪嫁了之后，时不时都会回马口看家婆太。
之前一段时间，还是妈咪在照顾家婆太……
一晃眼，那又是几年前的事了……
现在，人事全非……
看着很多和妈咪很好的亲戚，
心里很难过……
会难过，因为我一直在重叠妈咪的身影……
如果她在现场，她会怎样？
如果她还在，她会不会哭得很伤心？
如果没有那件事，现在的丧礼，会是怎样进行的？
……原来我很想念她……
阿姨说她最近有去看妈咪；
外婆说他最近一个人住；
三舅婆说很抱歉没有时常打电话给我；
六舅婆问我最近还好吗；
姨婆说我瘦了很多……………………
真很谢谢这么多亲戚的关心……
有时，真的很庆幸有你们在身边，让我还保有一些妈咪还在世时的回忆……
以前，你们都很要好的在聊天……
聊孩子的学业、聊以前的往事、聊彼此的近况……
而我，就安静地在一旁聆听……
现在，想重温以前的情形，是不可能了……
妈咪，今天我代你送了家婆太最后一程……
虽然阿姨一直在安慰我说这是正常的人生旅途，
但我想说我哭的原因，其实是我想起了你……
想起你在马口时的情景，
想起你来看家婆太的样子，
想起……你以前出殡时的情形……
两者重叠，好像那时的情景又在重演……
很难受……
家婆太，您一路好走……
妈咪会在天堂接您的……
您，应该见到妈咪了吧！
很抱歉对您隐瞒了妈咪过世的消息……
为了您的健康，我们惟有这样做……
请您带我告诉妈咪，
说：“我真的很想念她……”。
如果两个好朋友，同时爱上一个人，
结局会是怎样呢？
《DoReMiFaSoLasiDo》真的很赚人热泪……
明明爱着一个人，却因为另一个人的缘故，
不得不选择离开……
好痛……看到都觉得痛……
最近真的很变态，都喜欢看爱情剧……
看了，悲伤的，都会觉得好象是自己在go thru这个过程……
这样的感觉，往往提醒我，原来还会伤心的……
奇怪！明明又不是我不能爱，又不是我暗恋别人，
怎么我却比说都还要伤心??
真是怪了～
去工作三天了，在Pavilion, Jln Tuanku Abdul Rahman, 和KL Central
附近游行、派传单、喊口号……
感觉好像回到了中学时期，参加生活营，要喊口号似的……
真的很开心～
" I dunno but I've told
We're the cheesy crunch patrol
crunch crunch
crunch crunch
CHEESY CRUNCH",
"I wanna CRUNCHY CRUNCHY
We wanna CHEESY CHEESY
We wanna CHEESY BITES"……
真的很开心～
但，这些都结束了～都在今天结束了～
虽然累，但觉得很值得～
我的生活经验又累积了一些。
在大学时期，还蛮喜欢打些工的……
因为，只有在这个时候，我可以累积不同的工作经验……
毕业后，我想，除了Acc，应该别无选择了吧！
所以，只有趁这个时候，去体验不同的生活，
酱，才能安慰我不那么灿烂的大学生活啊～
因为打工，
我又变得勇敢些啦!!哈哈～（好事一桩^^）
多得蕴华和黄宾，
最近真的迷上了张根锡!!(《原来是美男啊》男主角)
噢～～～我的花痴又要发作了!!
pls~~~不要啦!!
我可是很久都没有了!!
暗恋，有多难受？
现在，仿佛能够感受……
刚看了第七集的《原来是美男啊》，
美男对泰经的爱，只能常在心里，
真的很难受……
仿佛我就是那个承受的人……
看这些情节，往往很容易感受到剧中人的情绪，
或许这就是我吧！这么敏感的我吧！
现在还很难受，就好像我在暗恋着某个人……
却要看着这个人和他人相爱……
但是，现实中的我，最近真的对自己的感觉，很难sense到……
最近忙assignment, thesis..
每天起来，就是在烦这些……
根本没有心思去想“今天想过得怎样？”
我迷失自我，多久了？
以前都是借由制作卡片，或亲手做些东西，
来感觉自己；
现在，想做卡片，连个时间都抽不出来，
又怎么感觉“家语”呢？
没有“我”的空壳，就是你天天见到的我……
有时觉得，其实这样也好～
起码不用在意一些细小的感受……
不用把悲伤放在心里，
对每样事都抱着麻木的感觉，
就可以忽略，某些曾经很要好的朋友，
有多久没联系了……
不用烦，我们的感觉还在吗？
我对你来说，还一样重要吗？
原来我不是没有感觉，
只是我不想去处理它……
假装自已没有察觉这样的感觉的存在，
假装我们都还很要好……
假装…………
我们最后一次谈心，是几时了？
曾经的感觉，我现在还在细细回味，你呢？
或许我的不主动，让你生气了……
或许我的忙，让我们的友谊淡了……
或许……或许……或许……
或许，我想说，我很想念你，你会相信吗？
原来，我还是有感觉的……原来……
暗恋，真的很痛苦……
